Trying Too Hard

I think I've been trying too hard. In wandering the web, I've found some fun sites, like Lady Skye Fyre's page on learning how to channel (and her blog) or this link on channeling through automatic writing. They have the playful attitude that I've been told repeatedly to adopt.

So I'm trying not to try so hard.

Last night I sat and drummed. I attended to the fundamentals, mainly my breathing, which I hadn't been doing recently. I saw a level of energy around me; it formed a sphere around me with something between the sphere and my belly. I was told to scan the sphere of energy. I found a glop of yuk (a "smudge") that I pulled off. As it pulled off it sort of became human with a tired demeanor. I greeted it and asked if it had anything to say to me but I didn't hear anything. So I pictured Light coming down to it and pulling it away. I found another smudge and it too became human-like when I pulled it off. When I greeted it, it sort of came at me, going for my throat. Somehow I knew this was an aspect of me-- my lack of patience. So I befriended it and filled it with light. It became honey-colored, which matched the color of the sphere of energy surrounding me. My patience and I finished scanning and kind of polishing the energy sphere.

I know that I need to work on my patience. I would rather work on it than get slapped upside the head with a patience lesson.

I love picturing the Light, summoning it, because there's such a wonderful feeling when it shows up and I hear the chorus of hello's responding to my greeting.

I love the picture at the top of this post. I'm using it for my sacred space, though last night I also found myself at my original sacred space. I really like the horse-on-springs rocking horse from my childhood that I have there. I rode it early in my journey, to sort of get me started, and it morphed into my Mannaz donkey. I was on his back and could feel the wind in my face as we flew through a purple sky.

I felt that my honey-colored patience was associated with my third chakra, which I associate with the color yellow. It seemed like the energy sphere was also associated with my third chakra.